The Silent Struggle of Caregiving

A friend recently shared with me the challenges of caring for a parent in decline. She was exhausted. The daily drama, the constant needs of a father in decline. She was close to caregiver burnout. Avoiding caregiver burnout is hard when the spiritual and emotional battles are draining you physically. I know she’s not alone.  I have at least two other friends in the same situation. Without a doubt, we should know where we can reach out for support.

The Scope of the Issue: Caregiving in America

According to a recent study there are 65 million adult caregivers in the US providing unpaid support and assistance to the elderly and those at the end of life. That’s almost a third of all adults in this country. Furthermore, two thirds of Americans expect to be caregivers in the future. The value of this “free” care is twice as much as is spent on homeware and nursing home care combined! Almost a quarter of them report their health as fair or poor. Three quarters believe they don’t go to the doctor as often as they should; two thirds have poor eating habits. Caregiver syndrome is a real thing for those caring for loved ones at the end of life and can lead to burnout.

Avoiding Caregiver Burnout Is Not Selfish

Accordingly, I strongly encouraged my friend to make space to recharge, to feed her own soul, to tend to her own needs. It is not selfish for a caregiver to do what’s necessary to survive. Depression is not uncommon among caregivers. In fact, avoiding caregiver burnout is important and necessary to continue the job.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Therefore many of us have chosen to be available for a loved one in their last journey. Many find themselves in the role with no choice. Consider reaching out for support, for guidance from an end-of-life doula. Those like myself can offer direction, respite, objectivity in a situation that can otherwise bury you. It’s a chance to “hold space” for you and the person in decline.