When someone asks, “Who do you recommend for a doctor or hospital to give birth at?” it’s so tempting to immediately type the name of the provider who caught your baby or the hospital where you had a great experience.

But here’s the thing: your recommendation is way more helpful when it comes with context.

Here’s how to give a truly helpful recommendation that can guide someone toward the care that’s right for them—not just what was right for you.

1. Don’t Just Drop a Name—Add the Why

Instead of just saying, “Dr. Smith is amazing!”—take a moment to explain why you loved them:

• What kind of birth were you planning, and how did the provider support that?
• Did they take time to listen and explain things?
• Were they hands-off or very directive?
• How did they respond when things didn’t go as planned?

Here’s an example:

“I really loved Dr. Smith because I was hoping for a low-intervention hospital birth, and she was totally on board with that. She respected my birth plan, worked well with my doula, and supported me through an unmedicated labor without pressure.”

That gives the person asking a much better sense of whether this doctor is a good fit for their preferences.

2. Acknowledge That Every Birth Is Different

You can also add something like:

“This was just my experience—everyone is different, so it might be helpful to meet with a few providers to see who feels like the right fit.”

This makes space for nuance and avoids the “this person is THE BEST” mentality that doesn’t always serve others well.

3. Suggest Talking to a Doula

Especially if the person asking doesn’t know what kind of birth experience they want yet, you can gently suggest they talk with a doula. Doulas are trained to help people clarify their preferences, learn what questions to ask, and navigate the many options available in your area.

Most offer free consultations—even if the person isn’t ready to hire one—which makes them an incredible resource at the beginning of this journey. You can use a site like DoulaMatch or Bornbir to find doulas in your area.

When we give recommendations with empathy and detail, we empower others to find the kind of care that supports them—not just to copy our own choices.

And that kind of support makes all the difference.

Are you looking for a provider for your own birth? See the companion post on how to ask for OB-GYN recommendations!