I have to recognize an enormous concern among our very advanced society. According to a recent poll¹, one in three adults age 50–80 (34%) reported feeling isolated from others (29% some of the time, 5% often) in the past year. This is a decline from 2020 during the pandemic but higher than pre-Covid levels. More than one in three older adults (37%) reported feeling a lack of companionship and one in three older adults (33%) reported infrequent contact (once a week or less) with people from outside their home.

This is devastating to those who are experiencing this isolation. People who experienced social isolation had a 32% higher risk of dying early from any cause compared with those who weren’t socially isolated.² For those facing an approaching death this could be amplified. My greatest motivation is to prevent anyone from spending their last days alone.

End of life doulas strive to minimize the loneliness and isolation Terminally-ill individuals experience in through their last days. Well-meaning family and health care workers could exacerbate this by taking as if the person is no longer there. I am there solely to focus on the individual, providing spiritual and emotional support. Even if its just the sound of a voice or looking eye to eye so they have a connection, a lodestone to humanity.

It should be said that the role of the end of life doula is also to be beside family and caregivers. The burden of comforting the dying when you are emotionally invested can be overwhelming. I believe it is a solace to see a compassionate face and hear an empathetic voice lest you feel crushed by the burden.

I see my role see as a something of psychopomp, a term I’ll elaborate on more in a future post. It is sufficient however that my role is to walk with the person on their final steps and stay with them approaching the door at the end.

1. University of Michigan National Poll on Healthy Aging, January, 2023, in a national sample of U.S. adults age 50–80. ↩︎
2. https://www.cnn.com/2023/06/19/health/loneliness-social-isolation-early-death-risk-wellness ↩︎