Today, in churches that observe the calendar of saints, is the feast of St. Nicholas the wonderworker. Yes, the “jolly old elf” associated with Christmas is based on a real person, a generous and much-loved bishop living in the third and fourth centuries in what is now Turkey. Many people are familiar with the story of how he secretly delivered bags of gold to three young women who were too poor to afford a dowry, as the basis for our modern “Santa” traditions. Today’s date is the anniversary of his death, but since this is a blog about pregnancy and birth, I wanted to share some less familiar details about the birth of St. Nicholas.

Did you know that St. Nicholas was born after a thirty-year struggle with infertility? That is a long time to wait and hope! After thirty years of praying and crying, Nicholas’s mother, Nonna, conceived the baby and he was born on March 15, 270. (This is the date traditionally given for his birth – people weren’t quite as meticulous about birth certificates back then.) The baby was named after his uncle, the abbot of a nearby monastery who came to bless the new baby. Interestingly, the name Nicholas at that time was not very common among Christians, although there is a Nicholas mentioned in the Bible as one of the first men selected to serve as deacons in Jerusalem (Acts 6:5).

Later this week (December 9 for Orthodox and December 8 for Catholics) we celebrate another long-awaited pregnancy, the conception of Mary the Mother of God by St. Anna. In brief, the story goes as follows: Mary’s parents, Joachim and Anna, were a wealthy and devout couple, but after fifty years of marriage they had no children. In the Jewish culture of their time, this was considered so shameful that they were turned away from the temple in Jeruslaem when they attempted to offer a sacrifice. Joachim fled to the mountains in shame, where the Archangel Gabriel appeared to him and told him that he would have a daughter; the angel separately told Anna to meet her husband at the gate of the city. The couple were reunited, and shortly afterwards conceived the infant Mary. This was no virgin conception, but is nonetheless considered miraculous because of the very old age and infertility of the parents.

Even today, the experience of infertility for those who desire to have a child (or another child) can be very difficult and distressing. Feelings of loss, despair, loneliness, and guilt are common. To make matters worse, our culture is not great about talking about this topic or supporting those who are experiencing infertility. Too often, people experiencing infertility feel they need to suffer in secret, or are the recipients of unsolicited and unhelpful advice. If you are in this situation, know that you are not alone. This experience, and the feelings associated with it, have been shared by couples throughout human history, as shown by the examples I’ve talked about here. Even if you do not feel able to share this experience with those closest to you, the American Pregnancy Association recommends seeking professional support for the emotions associated with infertility. I hope that your wait will not be as long as the parents of St. Nicholas and St. Mary endured. Whatever the outcome of your journey, I hope that you will find comfort and joy in today’s feast and maybe a miracle from St. Nicholas!