A much neglected task

Of all things in life, only one is certain: we are going to die. Planning for this time can make a profound difference to the experience and dignity of our final days. For our loved ones, planning for death can make the experience calm and meaningful rather than stressful and confusing. Planning for one’s death is a vital but much neglected task.

How an end-of-life doula can help

Accordingly, an end-of-life doula can help you through the process of planning for your final days and beyond. Many people associate the profession with a terminal diagnoses or a life in decline. They may not recognize the need for a doula until because death has become palpable, undeniable. But the reality is that this is the single event we will all face. We can all make decisions at any time to insure that our wishes are followed. These are related to your health care, finances and memorial and legacy. An end-of-life Doula can provide legally binding documents as well help complete them.

Documenting your wishes

Most people are aware of the need for financial planning and a legally binding will. For example, a brief summary is provided by the National Institute on Aging. Documenting your instructions regarding assets you own is a first step it is very important to consult a lawyer in the event a dispute arises among your survivors. Disagreements may still arise but it less likely if you have made your documents legally binding.

In addition, you should clearly communicate your wishes regarding healthcare. Your state’s public health department will likely have some documents available online. The Alabama Public Health Department provides a link to many of the forms to you should complete: a Living Will and Healthcare Proxy and a DNAR (Do Not Attempt Resuscitation). In addition once you do became seriously ill or frail it is good for your doctor or hospital to have on file a POLST, Portable Medical Orders that let emergency medical providers know what actions they should take. “Take me to the hospital” or “I want to stay here”. “Yes, attempt CPR” or “No, don’t attempt CPR”. “These are the medical treatments I want”. “This is the care plan I want followed”. Your doctor can provide this form or you can download it here.

Planning for funeral care and memorials

Finally you may want to state your preferences regarding funeral care. Your faith may or may not influence your post mortem care. If you are not religious, you likely still would like a say in the care for your remains and the memorial you wish. By all means, I encourage you to state this clearly in the presence of a witness. My own faith, the Orthodox Church, has very clear and important guidelines for the care of the body after death. As a result, I want to make sure that my survivors are aware of and will follow them. An EOL Doula can be very helpful in this as well.

You can amend all of the above directives over time as your situation and thoughts evolve. It is best, though, to lay a foundation early, before the time becomes shorter. For this reason, “end-of-life doula” is probably a misnomer. We are here to help you at any time to prepare for this life-changing event.