An interesting encounter

This morning, Nicholas and I had an interesting Zoom meeting. A filmmaker working on a project entitled “Meaning” had approached us a few weeks previously. Evidently, this filmmaker was fascinated by the birth and end-of-life doula work of Eleison Doula Services. The conversation for me raised an important question: what does it mean to have a meaningful birth? Indeed, a big part of my work as a doula is helping each client achieve their desired meaningful birth experience.

The search for meaning

The question calls to mind Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search For Meaning. If you haven’t read it, please do so today. Frankl was a survivor of the Nazi death camps, while his parents, brother, and pregnant wife did not. After these terrible experiences, he dedicated his life to understanding how we can ind meaning in suffering.

Birth as transformation

Birth, if nothing else, is a transformative experience. An infant emerges ready for a new life outside the womb. Parents, too, are born. Newborn parents need to explore and learn this baby’s temperament, needs, and cues. The physical bodies of mother and child are transformed through the various stages of labor and birth. Maybe Frankl’s philosophy can help us embrace the pain of labor with a sense of meaning and purpose. The human connections – between parent and child, parent and doula – create meaning. They foster the connected relationships we all need as humans.

Finding spiritual meaning in birth

In Christianity, birth acquires its ultimate meaning as a recalling of the birth of Jesus. God’s entry into the world incarnate as a human is the foundation of the religion. My Orthodox Christian clients will often have an icon of Mary by their side during birth. They draw strength from her example and prayers. Thus, they link their own birth to that extraordinary birth of 2,000 years ago. Hence, this infant becomes part of the dramatic story of the Incarnation and all that goes with it.

Other aspects of meaning in birth

But there are more mundane ways also that a meaningful birth has a profound impact on those involved. A well-supported mother emerges from the experience with gratitude for the encouragement and physical support she received. As a resulty, she may have a new (or renewed) understanding of the importance of accepting help as a parent. By contrast, our culture all too often urges parents to carry all the heavy burdens alone. We all need a village. Frankl’s approach can especially help transform a family whose situation isn’t so good. Even with everything that may have happened, we can choose to embrace or at least face our circumstances. Thus, each person can discover their own power to make whatever meaning they will out of adversity.

As a doula, I stand beside parents experiencing birth in so many different ways. Most importantly, I witness and acknowledge what one is going through and how it feels. This acknowledgement allows the person to start working out what all of this means for them personally. Thereafter, I offer the assurance that their companion who won’t leave or judge, but will always listen and support. Then we can explore together the deeper meaning that emerges out of this birth story.