Author: nklsmbailey
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Know the signs death is near
In a recent article for Upworthy palliative care nurse Julie MacFadden explained the symptoms she sees in those who will die a natural death in the next six months. McFadden cares for those who enter hospice care and every patient exhibits the same three symptoms. I’ve written in the past about the signs death may…
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Planning for Death: The End is not the Beginning
A much neglected task Of all things in life, only one is certain: we are going to die. Planning for this time can make a profound difference to the experience and dignity of our final days. For our loved ones, planning for death can make the experience calm and meaningful rather than stressful and confusing.…
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The Little Things Count
I was recently reading a very helpful book titled Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love by Lisa Carlson. It was written in 1998 so its a bit dated but most of the information the author shares is still relevant. The bulk of the pages details your rights and options caring for the…
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Actively Dying
Caring for a loved one when death seems imminent can be challenging. You’ve been told it could happen at anytime but none can predict the minute or hour or even day. Exhaustion precludes being perpetually vigilant. We all must rest. We all must receive occasional respite or burn out. Thankfully there are signs that can…
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Sharing the Grief
Younger men have a duty to their older brothers to stand ready when barriers grow thin and resolution weakens. To be near when tears grow easier and pain feels keener. On several occasions in my life I have sat with older men while they shared a loss that would be difficult for any of us.…
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Caring for the Departed
I will always work to honor the wishes of the dying and their caregivers. But there are possibilities that many may not be aware of. The services funeral homes offer can be valuable but they have become so ubiquitous that many may choose cremation as a simpler and less expensive alternative. I hope at a…
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Never Alone
I have to recognize an enormous concern among our very advanced society. According to a recent poll, one in three adults age 50–80 (34%) reported feeling isolated from others (29% some of the time, 5% often) in the past year. This is a decline from 2020 during the pandemic but higher than pre-Covid levels. More…
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Journeying Together
Our society is evolving. So many personal choices and conditions are now not only in the public eye but down front. Unfortunately one universal part of life is set apart and hidden as our sharing culture is uncomfortable with death and the person who approaches its finality. In the face of a diagnosis that limits…
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Why am I an end-of-life doula?
Death is the most certain thing in our entire life. Possessions, health, relationships, jobs, all are fleeting. But from birth we are guaranteed our moment with death. When my mother died in 2017 I felt it was too soon. After some reflection, however, I acknowledged any age would have been too soon. In all honesty,…