Previously, I posted about the top three things that a family with a newborn needs: strong support, food for the baby, and food for the grown-ups. Today, I want to complete my list of baby essentials, and you will see it is a lot simpler than many people imagine. I want to help you resist feeling overwhelmed by all of the baby marketing out there!

So, once you have your support system lined up and some plans to provide baby milk and some meals and snacks for the grown-ups taking care of the baby, what else do you need to prepare?

Diapers

We all know that babies poop and pee without regard to politeness or your convenience, so it’s important to be prepared. In our culture, that means diapers! (Interestingly, there are many cultures in the world where diapering is not the norm, and people have developed ways of potty training even very young infants. Since that is not the norm in our culture, I’m assuming that you will be buying some kind of diapers.)

Sadly, diapers can present a significant expense for new families, so this would be near the top of my list for baby-shower requests(right after contributions to the doula fund and a meal train. Food banks and other nonprofits are increasingly providing diapers to families in need, and it is worth finding out about these services in your community. If you are fortunate enough not to need some help procuring diapers for your little one, consider donating to a local diaper bank. Maybe as your baby outgrows the diapers you have already purchased, you could donate any extras to help another family with a younger baby.

Another way to reduce the cost of diapering, along with the ecological toll of disposable diapers, is cloth diapering. There are many different types of cloth diapers available, but the basic idea is that you need an absorbent pad on the inside, and a waterproof cover on the outside. Some systems combine the two, so you get a diaper that works basically like a disposable diaper, and others have these as two separate components. Shopping with a local representative is a great way to learn about all the options and figure out what you like, while supporting a local small business owner in the process. Your postpartum doula should also be trained in the basics of cloth diapering and can help you navigate the options. Depending on the system you choose, most families find the initial investment in cloth diapers pays for itself after a few months. Considering the average age for potty training in the United States is between 2 and 3 years, that may be a great investment!

Of course, everyone’s situation is different, and only you can decide if cloth diapering fits into your lifestyle. But I would encourage you to keep an open mind to the possibility. I used cloth diapers with my four children while working and using daycare part-time, and I am very glad that I did. It was just a matter of getting into a washing routine that worked. There are cloth diaper services that will pick up your dirty diapers and drop off clean ones, if that kind of laundry doesn’t sound like something you want to tackle. And it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Using cloth diapers only at weekends, or only at night, or when you’re fighting a rash that disposables may be aggravating are all good choices too.

Baby Clothes, and a Way to Wash Them

Here again, what you really need is probably a lot less than most people think. Babies do go through a lot of outfits – even with the best diapering system in place, things are bound to get messy. They also outgrown clothes quickly in the early weeks and months, so you won’t be using the newborn-sized items for long (if at all – if you think your baby may be on the larger side, consider skipping the newborn size altogether and just shop for 0-3 months and up). For your baby’s first wardrobe, the priorities should be comfort, ease of changing, and keeping the baby at an appropriate temperature. They are going to look cute no matter what, though it will probably be hard to resist one or two outfits just because they are so adorable!

Here is a list of my personal favorites for clothing a newborn and some suggestions about how many of each item you might want to start off with. The terminology for baby clothes can be a little confusing since different manufacturers use different words. So I’ve included some of the most common terms and a description and photo to explain what I am talking about.

Onesies (or bodysuits, like a t-shirt that close around the diaper at the bottom) – these are great on their own in hot weather, or as an extra layer under pajamas in cold weather. 5-7 of these in the newborn size is a good number if you’re able to do laundry a couple of times a week. Your baby will probably graduate quickly to the 0-3 month size, so another set of clothes in that size might be a good idea to have before birth as well.

Baby pajamas (“footies” cover the whole leg and feet, “sleepers” let the feet stick out, and “gowns” are like a sack at the bottom but may be zipped, snapped, or tied to close). If it is cool, I like using the footed pajamas and not having to worry about keeping socks on little feet. Depending on your climate, season, and laundry arrangements, you probably want almost as many of these as onesies.

A warm outer garment if it is winter and you live in a cold climate. Personally, I think the ones with little animal ears are just the cutest ever. You do need to be careful not to let your baby wear anything bulky or puffy in a car seat, because the straps won’t be able to fit snugly to protect your baby in an accident.

A nice stack of soft, lightweight receiving blankets. Technically, these aren’t really clothing, but they are so useful for everything from swaddling, to creating a makeshift clean surface to lay the baby on, to covering up just enough to keep the baby warm without overheating. Trust me, you will want these handy in every room.

Talk to your postpartum doula about developing a laundry plan. It is staggering how much a tiny baby can add to the household laundry loads. Babies are messy creatures and they generate a lot of dirty clothes (even more if you’re using cloth diapers). What you might not be expecting is how much more of your laundry you’re going to need to do. Babies don’t restrict their poop and spit-up to their own clothing, unfortunately, so all of the household laundry piles will get bigger when there is a new baby.

A Safe Space for Baby to Sleep

For most people, and according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommendations, this means a “a crib, bassinet or portable play yard with a firm, flat mattress and a fitted sheet” where the baby will sleep by itself but close to you (in the same room). Another source you will Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), which sets safety standards for baby sleep products. Make sure that your crib or bassinet is labeled” “meets CPSC standards,” and you may also want to check the CPSC website to ensure the standards are up to date and check for product recalls.

We know that many families decide to share a bed with their baby, and if you make this choice, you should familiarize yourself with the “Safe Sleep Seven” guidelines from La Leche League, as well as the AAP recommendations, to help you make an informed decision. These guidelines are discussed in my blog post, The lowdown on sharing a bed with your baby.

A Healthcare Provider

When you have your baby, your birth care provider will ask you who will be taking over the care for your baby. In the United States, this is typically a pediatrician, but it may also be a family medicine doctor, nurse practitioner, or physician assistant. You will probably find it helpful to ask for recommendations from other people with children whose parenting philosophies align with your own, search your insurance website for in-network providers, or use the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Find a Pediatrician tool. Most offices will allow you to come and interview the pediatrician while you are pregnant to determine if their practice is a good fit for your family.

A New, Correctly Fitted Car Seat

Before you drive an inch with your new baby, it is essential to have the baby snugly strapped into a properly fitted car seat. Car seat recommendations can be a little overwhelming, but for newborns the guidance is fairly straightforward: babies up to a year of age need to be facing the back of the car, either in an infant seat that is designed to be only rear-facing, or in a convertible/all-in-one seat that starts out rear facing and can be turned around when your baby gets big enough (not until after their first birthday). Avoid the temptation to re-use a carseat someone has given you, because even minor incidents can cause unseen damage that would make it ineffective in an accident. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) publishes detailed advice on car seat fitting and safety.

Having a safe car seat for your baby to travel in is so important that most states and communities have set up programs to help people obtain a car seat if they can’t afford to buy a new one. If you need help buying a car seat, here are some resources to check out:

• your local fire department
• Safe Kids Coalition (click on the link for your state)
• Dial 2-1-1 for United Way community assistance

Things That Might Be Nice, for Certain Situations

Once you have these essential items in place, there are a few additional things that can be helpful, in certain situations, you might want to consider.

A baby wrap or sling can allow you to hold your baby while freeing up your arms for other tasks. There is a wide array available, and it is important to choose one that feels comfortable to you and your baby. It may take a little while to get the hang of babywearing, so I recommend asking your doula or experienced friend for help or connecting with a group like Babywearing International, Inc.

A stroller is another option that may come in handy, particularly if you like to get out with your baby. You might even want to consider a system that allows you to place the car seat directly in the stroller, so you don’t have to wake your baby up to get in and out of the car.

A Boppy or nursing pillow can provide support for nursing, and may also be a comfortable way to hold your baby for bottle feeding, especially after a cesarean birth. As your baby gets older, these pillows can help support tummy time for upper body muscular development. However, these pillows are never recommended for unsupervised sleep, for safety reasons.

A baby monitor can give you peace of mind while baby sleeps in another room.

I get lots of questions about purchasing a breast pump during pregnancy. In general, I recommend breastfeeding moms focus on nursing directly at the breast while they and their baby are learning to breastfeed, and only introducing pumping later if they are preparing to leave the baby for more than a few hours (such as going back to work). However, there may be situations where it is beneficial to start pumping earlier, such as when the baby has a medical condition and can’t nurse immediately, or if you plan to bottle-feed expressed breast milk from the start. Insurance companies now are required to provide breast pumps for free, and WIC provides pumps for breastfeeding mothers. A manual (hand) pump may be easiest to use if you are only expecting to pump occasionally, but for regular pumping, you probably want to obtain and learn to use a high-quality electric pump. There are many varieties available, including hands-free pumps, so it is worth asking your doula or lactation consultant for advice.

Don’t sweat the small stuff (and when it comes to babies, it’s all small stuff!)

In short, prepping for a new baby doesn’t have to be overwhelming! Focus on the basics: strong support, nutritious food for baby and mom, diapers, simple baby clothes, a safe sleep space, and a reliable car seat. While you might be tempted by all the baby gear out there, remember that less is often more. Stay flexible and open to options like cloth diapering or babywearing, and lean on your community for support. With these essentials in place, you’ll be ready to enjoy those special early moments with your little one!